Attractive Masculine Men Understand THIS About Dating.

Especially during "cuffing season".

It’s finally October. It’s the time of the year that most people love the most in America. The weather is cooling down and pesky bugs are dwindling. Leaves are changing, and so is she.

Who is she? She is any girl in your dating pool. She has switched her denim booty shorts and sun dresses for thrifted Carhartt and soft black leggings. Besides her outfit, she is changing her dating strategy. She has now entered “cuffing season” in exchange for leaving “hot girl summer” behind her.

There’s something about leaf lined sidewalks and haunted houses that speak to her subconscious, whispering, yet screaming that she must attach to a man like a seed pod that gets stuck in your velcro strap. Don’t blame her for this. It’s cute if anything, and at this point, it’s almost a scientific law of her feminine nature. The direction of this article is to guide you to a deeper thought of this season, and how to proceed accordingly, if you’re looking for a lasting relationship.

I would like to write bullet points in order to make it easier for you, but honestly that’s just not how my brain works and not how I like to write—so bear with me as I lay out the following concepts below.

There are a few key points when it comes to dating during this time of year. It’s much different from summer. If you’re experienced in the dating world, you understand that women of all ages are much more free and wild during the hot months. Beach vacations that are probably funded by a sugar daddy somewhere, drink tabs taller than you, and outfits that struggle to leave visible tan lines.

Because of that, her dating strategy is different, and therefore so is yours. Also, throughout this article, I obviously am not speaking for all women and or all men. There are always outliers in every way, so I am speaking about single women who date serially, maybe struggle to keep a relationship, are not ready to “settle down”, and those who like to have fun, tossing aside their morals/self control in the pursuit.

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In the summer dating market, commitment is not a word in her vocabulary. Just think of “girls just want to have fun.” This is a time for you to understand what it is that she is looking for, and behave accordingly. This does not mean to fun her trips, pedicures, or rack up a disgusting bar tab, but this means to lean into the bad boy archetype. The guy who is afraid of commitment, because that would mean he has to drop his other women, put his chopper in the garage, and start doing the dishes more often. This is the type of man she is looking for in the summer. The one who knows how to show her and her friends a good time. He is the life of the party, unpredictable, and is reminiscent of a wild horse sprinting through an open prairie. Your gift to her is allowing her to “tame” you, for a night, week, month, etc.

This doesn’t mean that the bad boy is a piece of shit or treats her like one. He is just less pursuant of commitment, which sparks something in her primal lizard brain that she needs to get inside your mind and under your sheets. Use this to your advantage. Be playful with your conversation, speak less, never over explain yourself, yet be open about past mistakes. He doesn’t get jealous, doesn’t question her skimpy see through bikini, and definitely doesn’t question her about her sexual history. There is so much more on that topic, but that is for another time.

Now that I’ve explained the type of man she is looking to be with during the hot months, let’s dive into what she is looking for during cuffing season and how you can attract her without changing who you are as a person.

Cozy season causes her to yearn for a white duvet bed set, with coffee in the morning and a good book at night (with lots of sex and cuddling in between). The bad boy from her summer past can not provide that. He is busy hanging with his friends or otherwise not making her his number one priority, like what I will call “The Fall Guy”. This season calls for a man who is more available, and feels like a safer option. However, there is something important you must remember. Just because I said they need a “safer” option, this does not mean a softie or a simp.

It’s crucial to understand that even though you KNOW she wants a relationship, and she may be more interested in you than you are in her… that you must NOT be the one pursuing the commitment. You are leaving that up to her. The moment that you begin asking her “what are we”, or trying to secure her in any other way, she will be turned off. This may sound weird or hard to understand for some. For that reason, I clarified that here in Part 2 .

So therefore, you need to be masculine in the way of making it known to her that you see potential in her, but you can’t be chasing her down, leaving her with no room to breathe. You need to have the ABILITY to take her on a hay ride date night, and then not text her for four days. You need to give her space to want and like you.

I’ve had the most success in attracting women, when I treat them like a friend. Having the skill set that allows you to treat her very well, take her on a fun, thought-out, inexpensive date, yet not pursue her commitment or pursue her sexually, will likely lead you to the best results. Then again, you also don’t want to be the guy that gets friendzoned. I know it seems backwards, and maybe a little confusing, but I will explain.

That’s where the importance of escalating through sexual innuendo and physical touch / kissing or otherwise embracing. Generally, if you have made it known that you see potential, and have attempted to kiss or otherwise escalate sexually…and she is not reciprocating or receptive after 2-3 dates, I would recommend leaving that situation and not continuing to take her out. That way, you avoid any weird confusing situations and avoid spending time with someone who may be using you for attention and or free meals and experiences. Girls can be naturally shy and awkward, but if you are a guy that she feels comfortable with, and you have tried escalating to being more than friends, if you don’t feel the same energy from her, you are more than welcome to let that be known to her or otherwise leave the situation.

so…

When you pursue her for sex, you will get the opposite. When you pursue her for a committed relationship, you will get the opposite. When you are an attractive, masculine man, who is able to escalate sexually, but be indifferent towards the outcome (meaning you couldn’t care less whether you hook up or not), this will drive her crazy. A simple thing I like to remember is this: The feminine wants to seduce the masculine. When the masculine is begging or trying too hard to seduce, she can sense his outcome dependency, and will have no desire to seduce him. A masculine man understands that she wants to seduce him.

She wants what she can’t have. There is so much power in setting time constraints and hiding your intentions. When you are indifferent as to whether or not you like her as a person, want her as a girlfriend, or want to sleep with her—if she is physically attracted to you, she will likely beg you to take her.

You need to let her seduce you. She wants this. She will thank you.

Have you ever had a girl repeatedly thank you while in bed together, after begging you to take her? Many men haven’t, and won’t, because most men end up in the feminine role of trying to seduce her, trying to convince her, or otherwise talk his way into getting her to have sex with him. What a turn off. Let her work for it. Let her get her desire of “getting what she can’t have.”

So how does all of this relate to dating in autumn or “cuffing season”? The reason I explained all of that is to relay the fact that during this time, you must be okay with going on a date, then not speaking for some time. Don’t worry that she is going to forget about you or maybe she doesn’t like you, or whatever else you may be worrying about. When you worry, you are in the feminine, and you will be overcome by mood attacks.

I mentioned previously about having the ABILITY to take her on a fun date and then not talk to her for four days. And now I just mentioned it again. That you must be okay with going on a date and then not speaking for some time. I said this twice because it is extremely important to understand that I am not referring to some “tactic” or game that you need to play with her. It’s more of a “dance”…

If you intentionally ignore her texts or avoid her in hopes of winning some psychological game, you’ve got it all wrong. The entire point is that you need to be ABLE to not talk to her or see her for some time, without worrying, blowing up her messages, or otherwise becoming insecure. If you can’t go an extended period of time without texting her or begging to see her, this is because subconsciously you are seeking her validation that she is still there and still likes you. This is incredibly unattractive.

However, If you do have a girl who is wanting to spend time with you, sleep over, go on dates, cook meals together, etc… you must be okay with doing these “cutesy” fall things, all while not asking her to commit to you, and not worrying about or asking her about her potentially wild sexual history. If you are worried about her, if you are jealous due to things she does, or are insecure about her sexual past, just leaf. haha.

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Let her come to you with questions about exclusivity. Let her do the seducing. Your seduction is different than hers. Your seduction is not asking to fuck. Your seduction is simply being a strong, dominant, masculine presence who makes her feel safe. You are competent and can handle any situation. You are physically attractive and have things going on in your life, you are selective, and simply allowing her into your space is a huge compliment.

You are confident in your ability to compliment her beauty or other traits you find attractive about her. You are confident in speaking your mind, while not over explaining yourself or seeking validation if she or others disagree. You have a strong will, and know how to get your way.

I will “leaf” it at that for now. There is much more I could say about this topic, and I may write more about it later, but I need to go to the gym for arm day and then head downtown for a metal concert.

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