You Should Fail More Often

When’s the last time you tried something that which failure was likely?

Besides trying a new recipe or a new pickup line on some drunk girl at the bar, most guys are not setting themselves up for failure. You’ve probably been taught or for some reason think that setting yourself up for failiure is dumb, worthless, or even emasculating. You couldn’t be further from the truth.

The truth is, if you never truly challenge yourself or never do anything that you think you might fail at… you are selling yourself short. It’s normal to think that confidence only comes from succesfully doing something or winning something. While it is true, there is a completely different kind of confidence that arises when you try something even though you will probably fail.

For instance, two days ago I decided to apply to be a lifeguard on the beach here in Florida. A perfect job while I attend EMT classes two days a week. One thing though…

I have never truly swam in the Gulf. Sure, I’ve doggy paddled around, and I’ve surfed my fair share. But today I was there for my try out, wet suit equipped like Iron Man’s armor, about to jump into the rough and cold water when I realized that I have never actually swam in the open water. Let alone 500 meters through crashing waves with no one out there to save me.

Fuck it. I dived in head first. 50 meters due south head first into the waves. First bouy down. 50 meters west. Body is already in panic mode. I’m trying to control my breathing. Trying to turn my head away from the incoming waves to get a gulp of air. My lungs and my brain have disconnected, and I’m breathing out when my head pops up out of the water. Fuck. I know I need to be breathing in. Something inside me won’t let me breathe correctly. I’m 150 feet from shore and my body is already giving up on me. My muscles are screaming.

I try to get a breather by turning on my back to continue doing a backstroke. I’m still breathing in water. Im only 100 meters in. There’s absolutely no way I can do the next 400. Im already dizzy, breathing in water, and my muscles have given up. Before I passed out, I start swimming back to shore. Finally… sand. I can stand up. My legs dont want to move. They’ve never been worked in that way before. I walk up on the shore. I should feel defeated. I should feel ashamed. But I don’t. Im thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for the opportunity to push myself.

in 2024, I competed in two body building shows. I became nationally qualified. Which is sort of a big deal in the bodybuilding world. I can lift weights all day. But water is clearly a domain in which I have no skill.

Sure I could’ve just gone to the beach on my own accord and attempted to swim 500 meters. But there’s no stakes. Nothing to lose.

After some throwing up and rehydrating, I immediatly went over to the local lap swimming pools and signed up for a monthly membership. I am incredibly excited to begin to train for something.

That’s what we as men, I think are lacking a lot. Something to train for. A reason. A real goal. Something to gain and something to lose.

Give yourself a crazy goal. Something you don’t do. Maybe its swimming. Maybe it’s running. Do something physical where you think you will fail. If you don’t fail, all the more to you. Try something harder. If you do fail, you will see yourself and your skills in a new light.

Your failures give you something to train for. To fight for. Failing is only a loss if you don’t learn anything.

If you read this far, please comment below with a “failure” of yours that led to improvement.

Thank you.

-GW